


Cuban Hibiscus

by cuttlefishbish



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Blood and Gore, Character Death, F/M, Hanahaki Disease, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Lance (Voltron) Angst, Langst, M/M, Mental Health Issues, References to Depression, klangst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-08
Updated: 2018-02-08
Packaged: 2019-03-13 22:34:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13580331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cuttlefishbish/pseuds/cuttlefishbish
Summary: It makes sense that this stupid disease would effect him with one of the largest flowers Lance knew off. Cause like all things that seemed to involve Keith, it was always a big deal.Lance knew he was going to die.At least it would be beautiful.





	Cuban Hibiscus

Lance grew up in an idle little town near Varadero Beach where the waves were calm and sweet. The sun light filtered in softly through the glorious palms above them, and the air was sweetened by the smell of hibiscus and honey suckle. He remembers the large flowers everywhere in his youth. His mama used to use them as decoration since they grew from a huge patch just outside of their home. Art classes always involved the tropical flower in some way, and when Lance was still young his siblings edged him on towards catching bumble bees whom were trying to get some of the flower's pollen. In all cases of this happening however, it resulted in him being stung and his older sibling getting la chancla from his mama later on. They were fond memories. The kind that pained him now after all that's happened.  
  
In all honesty Lance went to the Garrison to learn how to explore and pilot in space, but never this far. Never this advanced. Never this... lonely. Sure he joked around with the others, but it was mainly a front. Something he could hide behind so that they wouldn't worry about him. Back home his mother worried a lot about him. Depression and Anxiety were a bitch to deal with but he supposed he was found out before anything too dramatic happened with his mental health. Though... they've been gone from Earth for almost an entire year now. His medicine was long gone from his system, having run out of it months ago. He's really surprised that this didn't occur sooner. Given his circumstances before that is.  
  
He had fallen in love. Loverboy Lance had fallen in love, had been in love really, and it was with probably the worst choice of all time. The guy he loved was probably the last person anyone would suspect given that outwardly he hated the other's guts. But at the same time, he found love and solace in his love from the small smiles he would occasionally get. The verbal agreements that rarely occurred, just hearing him talk in a commanding tone sent shivers down Lance's spine. The way his face got all flustered when Lance teased him, even over the stupidest of things like hair choice. Milky skin that paled in comparison to Lance's golden bronze, and eyes so dark they almost appeared purple when the light caught them just right...  
  
He loved Keith. The guy he's picked on almost every day since they met, and since he reappeared in Lance's life again. It was just a crush, had been one for a long time before this started to happen. Before he woke up in the middle of the night coughing so hard Lance thought he was going to cough up his own lung, but alas, what ended coming up from his poor trachea was a hibiscus petal. Large and ever in the way of his passage of breath, even smeared in blood it was pretty and a beautiful red orange color. Lance knew, he was screwed.  
  
So utterly and beautifully screwed.  
  
Keith was known for his admiration and love towards Shiro. Not Lance. It probably broke the poor boys heart that Shiro and Allura were going steady at this point. So when everyone saw Keith's mood drop down they assumed he had sworn off love for... forever. He even stated so to Lance and Pidge once, following the conversation starter of: "Dude you look like you've just killed all the space kittens available. What's up?"  
  
Lance knew better than to try and swoop in to get Keith. That was just unfair to both of them, Keith would probably say yes just to get back at Shiro. Not because he actually loved or even liked Lance. And Lance would believe him until the flowers eventually didn't stop, and he would be forced to realize that, sadly, Keith didn't love him. Overall, it seemed better to just let it go for now, see if he could get over this crush (He knew he wouldn't) and hide the illness. So when that first petal appeared he immediately shoved it into an empty pillow case in a pile of laundry, that would never be done, and went on with life. He had missions to do, people to 'flirt' with, and Galra ass to kick.  
  
This method wouldn't work for forever, Lance knew that. Eventually someone would figure out, but until that point he had a reputation to upkeep no matter some stupid flower sickness, or his own mental mind decaying faster than rotten milk.  
  
So yet again, he pushed himself out of bed early in the morning cycle and hacked into a small bin, petals slowly making there way out of his throat covered in a small amount of blood like always. The number however was increasing steadily by the week, and that's what Lance was worried about. This morning proved to be one of those increase mornings as he hacked up a total of five petals, enough to make an entire flower, though luckily he did stop after the fifth. Gasping for breath softly to himself, Lance collected the petals up, drying them of blood and shoving them into his ever growing empty pillow case. His routine usually consisted of going back to sleep until someone banged on his door to wake up (usually it was Hunk saying that breakfast was ready) or for the alarm to go off saying they were under attack. Yet today proved to be different, as Lance's mind deemed him awake enough to continue on today.  
  
Shoving himself onto his feet, wobbly still from his coughing fit, Lance moved himself to the bathroom to get ready. He needed a hot shower, and for his skin to not feel clammy. His usual morning routine seemed to strenuous lately, and putting on a face mask took forever to get off, so he skipped that, just showering like normal. Nails raking against his scalp harshly, he scrubbed himself down, rubbing at his skin till it turned red slightly. It stung to scrub so hard, but all Lance was focused on at the moment was getting the feeling of something dirty under his skin off. Once he deemed himself free of the 'dirt' he turned off the shower and dried himself off, grabbing his usual outfit (they didn't have many clothing options for humans in space) and heading out the door all before even Shiro or Allura were up.  
  
Lance soon ran into a problem however. He was left alone with nothing to do so early in the morning. No one was up to talk to or just watch them do stuff, and Lance didn't really do anything other than play video games and the aforementioned activities. So what should he do when there was nothing else to do...?  
  
He decided that Pidge was his best bet. Pidge might be up, after all the other's sleep pattern was hectic at best. Lance began to walk forward with purpose now, long legs walking a bit wobbly still as he hummed a small tune to himself to fill the silence. When Lance first boarded the Castle of Lions he thought it would make some kind of hum or noise constantly when floating through space, but surprisingly it made no sound that he could detect. It freaked him out a lot. Lance has always hated, even feared the silence. It's why he usually listened to music while sleeping. And his mind liked to make monsters out of shadows at night, so he had to wear a face mask to ensure that he didn't see anything either. Sleeping was a rather tedious task if you ask Lance, but boy did it feel good to not have to deal with being awake for a while.  
  
Pidge's room was about three hallways down from his own. But he knew better than to check there first, Pidge almost never slept in their actual bed, but rather preferred instead the mattress that Lance and Hunk had dragged into their work space a while ago. So Lance walked right by Pidge's room and headed instead for the Green lions hangar, passing by Blue's hangar on the way and smiling when he received a small boost of warm energy from the ancient. His relationship with Blue was one of the strongest within the teams. No one would admit it, but Lance knew they couldn't have the connection he had with his girl, as A. He knew Blue was a girl, B. No one else actually heard words back from their lion, and C. Blue told him so. The lioness was probably the biggest gossip Lance had met, the two spending almost hours just gossiping about the other lions, and what they did with their respective paladins. It's how he knew that Green liked it when Pidge actually slept, Red when Keith would take a break from constantly training, Black often let Shiro wander in their little space after nightmares, and Yellow loved it when Hunk would scratch under their chin. Overall, the lions were adorable to Lance. Even if they were ancient sentient creatures or whatever Allura had told him once.  
  
He passed by Blue's hangar and to Green's, entering in to the hangar to find it for once... empty. Green lit up to acknowledge Lance, the small of palm trees filling the air as Lance spoke to the lion. "Guess they actually wanted to sleep? Or did you convince them?" He joked lightly to the silent being. "Yeah. Figures the one day I'm actually up huh? Good that they're sleeping though. They probably need to stay asleep for the next like... week just to catch up." He commented mainly to himself, knowing that if anyone actually walked in they would think him insane. That'd be just another title Lance supposed. Crazy Loverboy Lance. But he had a small connection to the lions, able to tell when they were listening or not, whether they were amused or just wanted to be left to their own devices. Slowly but surely he would figure out all the lions personality, just like he had figured out his teams personality within minutes. Most importantly however, Lance would figure out how each of the lions felt about him.  
  
Moving away and out of the hangar, he knew better than to try and mess with Pidge's stuff, he headed for the training room having nothing better to do. Lance didn't like to brag about his skills, but lately he had been training harder and on better difficulty levels. His sniper setting (A simulator he had to create himself with Coran's help) had him shooting head shots almost always now. But that still wasn't good enough. He needed every shot to be a killing one. They were at war, and there was no room for error, something Shiro stressed constantly was there were no redo's, no making up a shot. You don't have a second life, and it was Lance's responsibility to make sure the team kept their one chance. It was a lot of pressure.  
  
Probably more than Shiro had intended it to be.  
  
But Lance kept practicing.  
  
By the time that someone eventually came looking for him, it was well into the morning cycle. He had just reached level 62 on his practice range, having missed only three shots last, before Keith came in. Inwardly his heart fluttered, outwardly Lance let out a small cough. "Sup?" He called.  
  
"Hunk has breakfast waiting for you. We didn't know where you were but it seems you were attempting to train." Keith replied with a certain amount of snark. Not enough to call it an insult, but just enough to make sure his point stung a little bit. Lance gave a dry laugh.  
  
"Ha ha, so funny mullet. Tell Hunk I'll be in as soon as I finish this training round." Lance called as he lowered his gaze back to his gun, making sure the weapon was perfectly centered to shoot a bot in the head.  
  
"What are you doing? Shouldn't you be on level... five or something?" Keith asked crossing his arms as he leaned against the wall. Lance groaning as he gave up on trying to get his aim corrected and turned to look at the other.  
  
"Noooooo, I'm only level five in hand to hand!" He whined back as Keith snorted.  
  
"And hand to hand is where it counts. You're not exactly any help if they've got you surrounded and you can only take long distance shots." He replied with a even look of annoyance.  
  
"Whatever Mullet. Don't thank me when I'm saving your butt." Lance huffed, puffing out his cheeks as he put his bayard away on his side and called the simulation off. Of course Keith would only care about hand to hand combat. That's all he ever cared about cause it's what kept him and Shiro safe. Everyone on the team was more used to hand to hand combat than Lance, but that wasn't his role. He was the sharpshooter, he was supposed to be at a distance. But... Keith had a point. He couldn't help if he was trapped or held down. So maybe he should look into doing more hand to hand combat. But until then he followed the ever frustratingly cute mullet man back to the kitchen. Hunk greeting him cheerfully upon seeing his friend.  
  
"Hey Lance! Breakfast is kind cold, but I finally figured out how to make it taste like donuts!" He informed the Blue Paladin with a smile as Lance returned it and sat down.  
  
"Knowing you, you did man! I'm starved!" Lance cheered as he turned his attention on eating and painfully ignoring the way Keith immediately when back over to Shiro's little group when they entered the room. He focused his attention instead on the food in front of him, coughing slightly as a pain came through his chest. Rubbing it thoughtlessly, Lance ate his meal while tuning into the conversation across the room.  
  
"-will need to find out what their customs are of course, to ensure that we, I.E. Lance, don't offend them by accident." Allura spoke up from where she was showing a planet on a tablet Pidge had constructed for them a while back. Lance's own tablet was broken, but Pidge had promised they would fix it the first available time they could.  
  
"So what's the planet like then?" Hunk asked butting into the conversation effectively. Something was said after that. Lance know's something was said cause he could see Allura's lips moving but he didn't hear what she said. He was focused instead on the steadily growing pain in his chest. The seeds expanded into his lungs further as he frowned and rubbed at his skin gently, trying to soothe the growing feeling of the hibiscus inside of him.  
  
Letting out a small sigh Lance smelled the flower on his breath, looking down as he zoned out everyone else. He was so screwed.  
  
What was he supposed to do now? Just.. die? He couldn't tell Keith. No, that'd be unfair to his heart and most likely speed up this disease, Keith would never say yes or anything of the like. But this thing would continue to grow and fester in him till it did kill him... He could always ask Coran if the pods could remove the seeds, but then.. then he would forget Keith and all that he represented in Lance's mind. He'd have to live with a stranger with holes in his memory that he could never fill. He had heard the stories, he knew what it was like to wake up and not remember. A man in his village suffered through the surgery and recovery, he lived never knowing one person in their town. A town where everyone knew everyone, and he didn't know Ms. Clara anymore. The man said it felt as if someone had ripped out a part of his life, leaving a giant hole in it's wake.  
  
He was scared of the solution. He was scared of rejection more. So Lance would probably end up dying from this. No big deal right? They'd find someone to take his place. Probably Allura, but.... Lance knows it wouldn't be the same. It just wouldn't be the same without any of them here, he never expected to kick the bucket so soon however. Hell he was only 17, but he supposed he had lived long enough. Taken out by a disease many people feared on the daily and others lived with for years. He wasn't so lucky, to have those years others had, usually it takes a long time for anything to sprout, but in Lance's case he was so close to Keith constantly that it grew much more rapidly. Even now he knew that the pain he felt wouldn't be as bad as later on.  
  
Yet... Lance accepted his own death. Even this early on. He had a good month left in him, he knew he could last till the end of the month. The question is how much of his own movement would be restricted. But for now, he watched as mouths moved in conversation, Keith saying some snarky remark and making everyone laugh, those dark almost purple eyes that Lance loved immediately looking to Shiro for approval. For so many things that Lance could give him instead...  
  
Standing up silently Lance slipped from them all and headed back to his room when he felt the all too familiar tickle in his throat. No one stopped him.  
  
He doesn't remember much of the following weeks. He was too tired emotionally and physically now. Roots taking hold in his lungs, filling gaps where he was supposed to produce oxygen making is harder to breathe. The team hadn't really noticed his absence. Taking more as Lance being lazy, than something being wrong with him. Lance doesn't remember a time in his life when he slept so much, other than when he was still a baby. His mama said he used to sleep so much that she worried he would never wake up sometimes. But he always did, and he would smile to his mother with bright baby blue eyes that turned into the crystal clear blue that they were now. Lance didn't smile as much anymore. It just took too much energy to appear like he was okay when he was alone, so he simply didn't try anymore. His mouth settling in a constant downward motion of blankness, and eyes dulling slowly from lack of nutrition, exercise and too much sleep. Eating was a task now, he had to almost focus on breathing and so when he couldn't breathe because he was eating, he had to focus on making sure he didn't stop his air flow and thus choke or even worse, swallow an start coughing. Coughing became his nemesis because almost every time he did cough it resulted in more bloody petals that he had to shove in his almost full pillow case.  
  
They were training currently. Keith set up to spar against Lance who just didn't feel the energy to try today. It already took up a great deal of energy to continue to appear normal to his friends and teammates, so when he was called up he dragged his feet towards the mat trying to feign laziness yet again. "Do I have to Shiro?? We all know this is just an excuse for Shiro to kick my ass!" He whined.  
  
"Language, and no it isn't. If you just put in some effort for once Lance you could hold against and maybe even win against Keith." Shiro sighed shaking his head as he watched the paladin put up a weak stance at best. Lance groaning for comical effect as he got ready to dodge and defend against the other boy.  
  
Keith rolled his eyes at Lance, and like always lunged first. Lance stepping out the way easily and behind Keith, not even bothering with trying to retaliate with his own strike or something alike it. And that's how the sparring went. Keith getting more and more frustrated as he missed Lance every time he tried to strike and getting confused when Lance didn't bother hitting back. Eventually Keith just stopped all together, huffing for breathe as he tired himself out and looked to Shiro. "This isn't a fight! It's Lance being too dumb to hit back and making me run around!"  
  
"Not my fault you can't hit me." Lance replied easily as he lowered his stance seeing as their sparring had stopped. Shiro holding up a hand to shut them up.  
  
"Keith, nothing says he has to fight back, but Lance you're taking this as a chore than fighting. What is going on with this new attitude?" Shiro asked as Lance shrugged.  
  
"I just don't see a point if I'm just going to lose anyway. We all know Keith can overpower me easily, so I might as well just tire him out and annoy him." Lance stated honestly for once, Keith growling as Shiro raised a brow before sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose.  
  
"Both of you go shower. Pidge, you're agility course is up next." Shiro called dismissing both of them as Lance looked to Keith who stalked out the room. Nice one Lance, you made your crush mad at you. Again. He must really hate you by this point, his mind told himself. Lance sighing as he kicked the ground before heading after Keith to apologize for being an ass.  
  
"Keith! Wait up!" Lance called looking down the hallway only to be surprised and shoved against the wall by the person he was trying to get. "Whoa-!"  
  
"What is your deal?!" Keith demanded to know.  
  
"I don't know what you mean-"  
  
"You know what I mean Lance! Why the hell have you been intentionally acting like this? To what? Get more attention on yourself?" Keith hissed glaring at the taller angrily. Lance's chest throbbed in pain.  
  
"No I'm not! I'm just... I'm tired okay man? That's all."  
  
Keith scoffed at the answer. "Yeah right. When all you've been doing recently is sleeping? Try and make up a better excuse, cause next time we spar I'm going to get you." He stated shoving Lance out of his hold before stalking down the hallway.  
  
"Keith! Look I'm sorry!" Lance called following after him as it eased the pain that was throbbing into his chest. "I just don't feel like myself you know? Maybe I just need a change of routine or something-" He rambled trying to stop the smaller, who hissed out a sentence shortly before going into his room and shutting the door.  
  
"Then find it you idiot."  
  
Lance was left alone in the hallway, sighing as he stared at the empty door. The pain in his chest came back in full swing, and worse than before making Lance start coughing harshly as he hurried to his room a hall away. In total 6 petals came out of his lungs, more than ever before, along with the stamen of the flower, each one covered in blood instead of just splattered like normal. Yet Lance still dried them off and put them into the pillow case. The poor thing was bulging almost, filled with the dried off and slightly decaying flower petals. He hadn't noticed before but steadily they had become more and more of a bright red color, the pigment increasing from when it was a pale pink. His throat stung from the effort of coughing so hard, Blue rumbling up in his mind, calling Lance to come to her.  
  
"Okay girl.... just... lemme rest." Lance mumbled out in response laying down momentarily to catch his breathe and calm himself. Blood dribbled down his chin slightly as he wiped it away with a towel staining the once white surface. Over time it had naturally faded slightly, but as of recently it had become a dirty and rusty red color. After waiting for a few minutes, enough for him to realize that the tightness in his lungs wasn't going back down, Lance stood up, hid all evidence of the disease, and headed for Blue's Hangar. He didn't see anyone on his journey over to her, luckily, so the trip was taken at a slightly slower and gloomier pace since he didn't have to act okay.  
  
When he opened the door to Blue's hangar he was met with a happy purr in his mind, the sound rumbling through his chest and easing at the pain gently. It felt like when he would get bad coughing fits when he was sick years ago, and his mother would rub his chest soothingly to get him to calm down after a fit. Granted then it was from an aliment that wasn't as deadly as this, but it felt all the same in his mind and body. Settling himself on her large paw Lance laid down smiling as he filled the rumbling air with speech. "Miss me that much girl..?" He asked  
  
_My paladin you are fading from me..._  
  
Lance let out a small noise before answering. "I know... But I can't exactly do anything about it..."  
  
_You can seek treatment, help, even love from the angry one... ___  
  
"I can't do that to him Blue... You know it's more complicated than that..."  
  
_I do not understand human feelings and why it must be this complicated. Red can feel it too, you are fading from them all just as you are fading from me. ___  
  
Lance looked down at his lap, running a hand through his hair as he let out a shaky breath. "I know Blue... I'm dying." He mumbled looking up as the alarm sounded above them. "Shit.... C'mon Blue lets go!" Lance called up as he went to put on his suit and then climbed into Blue who laid her head down for him to get in.  
  
"What's going on?" He asked into the communicators as everyone got into their own respective lion and Lance was hit with a wave of emotions from the beasts. Yellow was worried, Green wondering what was happening to him, Red just worried in her own mother way, and Black was stoic as ever, trying to hide his own worry from his paladin.  
  
"Galra nearby, they're targeting a neighboring planet!" Shiro informed him before replying with a bit of sass, "You would've known if you had been with us instead of sleeping Lance."  
  
"Okay, that stung a little, not gonna lie. But I wasn't sleeping! I was talking to Blue." Lance huffed putting up his walls again and pretending. Keith scoffed from his own lion as they all flew out the castle doors.  
  
"Talk to your lion on your own time! Right now you should have been with us so you would know about the attack."  
  
"Okay first off mullet, I was ready at the same time you were, and second... uh... your mullet is stupid!" Lance retorted back not really having a good insult this time, so he just played dumb instead. Everyone groaned in response to his horrible comeback Allura chiming in to them all.  
  
"Paladins focus! Galra ships are fast approaching on the planet and we can't afford to sit and bicker." She reminded them all with the authoritative voice she usually had. That was something else with Allura, Lance thought, the way she tried to act her actual age, but mentally was about the same age as them, if not younger. It kinda bothered Lance really, but instead of actually voicing his frustrations he just flirted and joked around with her instead. He didn't mean to make her more upset or angry, he was just trying to get her to see that she was still a kid like them, she could still joke around. Her whole proper princess act didn't have to stay up always. But, Lance supposed it was just another lost point.  
  
His lion zoomed towards the action, Lance pulling back on the throttle as soon as he saw the Galra's attention turn towards them and not the planet anymore. Keith, like always, dived head first into the danger making Lance's heart flutter alive with worry for the other. Shiro calling out for Keith to keep an eye on his six, as he and Hunk worked on getting the ion cannon disabled. Normally this was about the time that the general realized he was fighting against Voltron, and thus unleashed his 'ultimate weapon of doom' as Lance liked to call it, though today seemed to be different. Instead of actually fighting back they seemed to withdraw slightly. Pidge questioning their tactic before they were suddenly surrounding the Green lion. "Guys!?" They called before a barrage of blast came at the lion, Lance shoving forward so he could cover Pidge's smaller lion.  
  
"Guys they're going after Pidge!!!" He called putting up the lions barrier to protect Pidge's heavily damaged lion. Blue roared in their bond, and Lance could tell she was trying to get her fallen brother up and working. "Guys?!" Lance called hearing no response from them. "Damnit, Blue they knocked out the com's didn't they?" He asked only to get no reply from the already busy lion.  
  
Lance saw the other lions heading towards them only to be blocked by the bulk of the Galran ship, and Lance knew then they were on their own. Working quickly he put Blue as close to Green as he possibly could, before suiting up to go the short space hop to Pidge's lion. Blue rumbled at him to stay in place, but he ignored her, having to much worry for Pidge's safety at the moment. Heading out a hatch on his lion's side, he hopped over to Green, crawling through the blasts and into the cabin of the lion where he was sucked in and back to an oxygen zone. Putting his helmet up he ran to check on Pidge who was knocked unconscious at her instrument panel. "Pidge? Pidge c'mon wake up!" He called pulling them back further into the cabin. Removing their helmet which was crackling with static, he saw the side of her head was bleeding and immediately started to work on getting the first aid kit and helping his fallen teammate.  
  
Pulling out the kit, he laid her down on the floor of the cockpit, before assessing the damage down. From what he could tell they only had a cut on their arm and back from the blasts, which as far as he considered was better than anything else that could've happened. Blotching at the wound on Pidge's head, he applied gauze around the side of her head, looking up to thankfully see Blue automatically started to shoot down some of the fighters that were still blasting at Green. "Thanks girl..." He mumbled knowing she would feel it in their bond. After bandaging Pidge's arm as well, he took control of Green helping to maneuver him out of danger. The lion accepted his control seeing as his paladin was unconscious, and so Lance quickly adjusted to the smaller more flexible lion. Blue was built to take a hit and give a hit, Yellow to give a harder hit. Black was made to do it all in style, and Red to be fast and dangerous. Though the controls were all the same to Lance, after having been training in Blue for so long, and he maneuvered the lion towards the castle ducking them into the proper hangar. Once he was sure Pidge was alright for the moment, and just needed to wake up to be okay, Lance headed back out into the fight with Blue this time. Green tucked away and around their paladin to protect them.  
  
The battle was slowly heading into their favor, though Lance could finally hear the others thanks to Blue rebooting the system while he was helping Pidge. "-nce! Can you hear us?" Shiro called.  
  
"Back in Shiro. Pidge was knocked out so I got them to safety." He explained expecting to get chewed out and surprised when he was met with a praise instead.  
  
"Good work then. We'll check on them as soon as we get this battle over with. Hunk and I got the ion cannons defense's down if you can just get a good shot in-"  
  
"Couldn't have asked a better person for it Shiro!" Lance chimed in grinning slightly as he was able to show off his sharpshooting skills for once. Lining up the shot quickly, a blast from Blue sent the entire cannon off the ship and to float away slowly in the vastness that is space. "Got it! Let's go ham guys!" He cheered on as Keith headed closer and started to tear the ship apart.  
  
"Didn't need to hear anymore!" He joked for once making Lance laugh smile brightly. His chest pain eased up as he watched and helped destroy the ship and blast out any escape pods. It was harsh, to be shooting down escape pods like he was, but this was war after all. And they weren't taking prisoners.  
  
Clean up proved to be more tedious than actually getting the ship destroyed, as they had to relocate all the ships parts to head to the systems sun so it wouldn't crash onto any planet. They only really worried about the large pieces, considering the smaller ones would just burn up upon entering any atmosphere. So with a mouth full of metal scraps, Blue headed yet again to the star of the system, burning Lance's retina yet again. The only good thing about it, is the mission seemed to have put Keith into a better mood since he was conversing with Lance like the fight didn't happen earlier that day.  
  
"But basically I just felt this pulse in our bond, it was like Red was almost purring or something at me." Keith explained happy to say his progress in bonding with his lion had come further. Lance smiling as he thought about how he could feel the pride coming off of Red at his paladin.  
  
"That sounds awesome Keith! Maybe you'll even be able to like talk to Red like I can do with Blue soon!" He commented.  
  
"You can't talk to the lions Lance, you're just crazy."  
  
"You can too!" Lance defended himself with a whine. "You just aren't on my level yet." He huffed out as Keith snorted and gave a short laugh. His heart swelling with pride at the fact that he was the one to cause that laughter, even if it was at his own expense.  
  
"Keep telling yourself that Lance." Shiro finally chimed in as they finished their load, heading back towards the castle where Hunk was watching over Pidge in the a pod. They only needed a hour or two to fix up their small wounds, but it still gave reason to worry about them to Hunk, so he stayed behind. Keith laughed more at Shiro's comment, making Lance pout further in his seat.  
  
"You'll see. I'm not insane!" Lance huffed out as he landed and went off the communicators. "They'll know one day. Right Blue?" He asked up to her and received a loving purr that rumbled through his chest in response. Smiling Lance tiredly headed for his room and for his bathroom specifically. He needed one after a day like it had been. He found Keith and Shiro talking however, Shiro looking flustered slightly as Keith spoke to him. Lance pausing slightly to try and listen in... he couldn't make out the words, though when Keith finally headed out towards his own room, he had a wide smile on his face and a look of pure love on his face. The rumbling seemed to do little now as the pain in his chest came back in full swing and he coughed slightly. The small coughs however turned into full blown hacking as Lance ran to his room, shutting the door and heaving to get the petals out of his throat. Jealousy was a bitch, Lance thought.  
  
But it was also killing him in a way.  
  
To say Lance was scared would be incorrect. He didn't fear death, after all it came for everyone eventually and Humans just got the short end of the stick to only live for around eighty to a hundred years. Others, like Galrans, seemed to live for far longer, and so did Alteans (not counting the fact that Allura and Coran had been in basically cryopreservation of some kind), yet Humans got such a small window to live. Lance didn't fear death, he feared the manner in which he died. To be killed during battle would be painful at best, and torture at worst. The Galra was known for taking prisoners and warping their minds and bodies till they were begging for death even after being released from their control. So death by battle was not Lance's ideal situation. But to die of the dreaded flower disease? That almost seemed worse. To die knowing you weren't loved by the one you loved, and with roots finally holding all your lungs captive? That was terrifying to Lance. Yet he couldn't bare to get the surgery, not that it would do anything now anyway. The seeds had already implanted themselves in his lungs, and he was beyond the point of return. Almost full buds were being coughed up on a weekly basis now, he even coughed up a blood soaked bulb one time. Lance's fate was sealed now, if he didn't tell Keith he would die of this disease.  
  
He thought up a solution however, one that would stall this disease so he could hopefully keep living until the war was won. He owed that to the team if nothing else, to live until they actually won this stupid war against the dick of an emperor. Blue would freeze his lungs essentially. Well, not freeze them into an ice block completely, but rather she would use her energy in order to slow down his body functions so he didn't have to breathe as much, and the roots would grow at a slower pace. His internal body temperature would be drastically lowered, but Lance didn't mind. So long as he didn't get too touchy with his teammates he would be fine.  
  
Blue was the one to actually suggest the idea, taking advice from Green apparently, or at least that's what she told Lance one night. So he showed up bright and early to her hangar the day after agreeing to the process, tired of hacking up flower petals and feeling his body slowly dying. Blue was already prepared for him, having leaned down so her head was on the ground ready to work. Stepping inside the lion he put his bayard into its slot, and took a deep breath.  
  
"Ready girl?" Lance called up a bit nervously. In response he received a low purr from his favorite mechanical lion, which soothed him to the core. Nodding softly he turned the bayard and sat back to watch as the cabin filled with an icy temperature. Shivering from the sudden cold, Lance watched as delicate patterns flew across her display, crystalline structures glazing across the entire cockpit in one smooth motion. Lance let out a shaky breathe seeing the small cloud puff out from his mouth, before he inhaled deeply.  
  
Relief was almost immediate, but so was a small burning sensation like he was touching dry ice. It filled his lungs, and when he breathed out again he couldn't see his own breath anymore. The burning sensation lit up his lungs gently before being gone just as quickly as it flared up. Holding up a hand he noticed the way it almost shimmered like he was covered in a fine layer of dust.  
  
_It is done my paladin._  
  
"Do I look any different..?" Lance asked no longer shivering in the cold air as he blinked a tad be slower than normal. His reaction time was almost the same, but ever so slightly slowed down. He would have to train later to adjust to it. A screen was brought up showing Lance himself, and he was surprised to see that at the base of his neck, the hair had turned a shocking white that slowly crept up and eventually his entire head was white. It was a little weird looking, if Lance was honest. Shining bronze skin with white hair, but it also looked quiet regal. "Well... that's gonna be hard to explain...." He mumbled.  
  
_Don't worry, tell them that we have bonded further is all. _Blue supplied helpfully making Lance nod.__  
  
"Got it. Thanks girl." He smiled happy he could breathe without hardly any pain now. Before it felt like every time he took a breathe he wasn't able to draw in anything to his lungs, but now it felt like there was only a small block instead of a giant one. Standing up Lance removed his bayard and watched as Blue's cockpit returned to normal. Patting the side of her affectionately. Heading back out of the lion, Lance decided he needed to do a little training since it proved to be a little harder to walk at his normal pace. Heading into the training hall he set up an Altean equivalent of a tread mill and hopped on, slowly working himself to a running pace.  
  
After about 30 minutes he noticed that everyone should have finished up breakfast by then, and as if on cue they all came piling into the training hall. Spotting them, Lance waved while he continued his running pace, hardly sweaty at all. "Hey...!" He called out huffing a small bit.  
  
Pidge was the first to enter, and thus the first to notice his changed appearance. "Lance what the heck did you do to your hair??" She asked as the group noticed and moved towards the Blue Paladin.  
  
Stopping his pace, he let out small pants of breath, and smiled. "Had a small accident while working with Blue's freezing powers. She said it should wear off in a while." He lied expertly, happy to see that they all seemed to believe it.  
  
"What kind of training?" Shiro raised a brow at Lance's hair.  
  
"Just normal paladin training? With your lion? Like we're supposed to do?" Lance shrugged slightly before putting on a grin. "I didn't think you'd be complaining considering I'm now joining you in the white hair club." He joked only to be smacked by Keith. "Ow..."  
  
"You look stupid." Keith wrinkled his nose rolling his eyes. "And yet I'll bet you still will make fun of my hair."  
  
"Because who gets a mullet in this day and age?!"  
  
"Well maybe I like my hair style-"  
  
"Guys." Shiro frowned sighing as he shook his head. "Lance just keep running. Everyone I want an hour of cardio before we train." He called to the other's as all of them groaned in protest but didn't raise an argument with their leader.  
  
It took a little longer for Lance to get up to par with his slower body, actually being pinning on the mat several times while sparring with Keith this time, but over the next few days he did actually get back to normal. Granted it made him tired as all hell to keep at his normal pace, but his reaction time was back to normal when he did expend the extra energy, and no one suspected anything so in Lance's mind it was worth it. Flower petals came irregularly now, and few when they did come up. Each one looking like it was covered in frost and with only a small amount of blood this time. Blue apologized that she couldn't fully take away the symptoms of the disease, but Lance felt much better than he had in a long time, so he assured her it was all worth it to him. However, another problem came up during these few cycles. Keith was acting less and less like his usual grumpy self, and he was hanging out around Shiro a lot more. Lance didn't wanna say there was a reason for it... but... there probably was. And the annoying part came in that he didn't know what the reason for it was.  
  
His mind had gone wild at night, speaking silently to Blue about what he considered what was possibly happening. Allura and Shiro were a known thing, so Shiro could be cheating on Allura, but Lance doubted that. He was too straight forward and too... well nice to ever cheat on Allura. Yet Allura didn't seemed bothered either when Keith talked to her and Shiro and leaned on one of the pair. So there was the possibility they had formed a poly amorous relationship. Though that was probably not happening either as they all would have told the team by now. Keith could have just gotten over his crush on Shiro after all this time, but that wasn't likely either. So all of this combined led Lance to one conclusion.  
  
He was clueless.  
  
He honestly felt like Pidge with all these conspiracy theories. Yet he knew unless he actually confronted one of them, he would never know the actual answer, and Lance refused to confront them for fear of doing something to their relationship, whatever it may be. He could end up ruining Keith's relationship with Allura, or Shiro, or mess up Shiro and Allura's relationship all together, or something worse. So Lance decided to take his worries to the one man he knew he could talk to without repercussion. Coran.  
  
Coran had always been a good listener, especially when it came to listening to feelings. He knew that Lance liked Keith, but he didn't know about the Hanahaki or what he had done in order to prevent his own death. So he went to the older man, and like always he listened. He asked questions of course, questions regarding the disease, how had his hair actually turned white, why he was looking paler by the day, and Lance unable to keep his terrible secret in any longer explained it all. How the disease effects his body, why it was happening, why he couldn't tell Keith, how his plan for living longer had been done, who had suggested it, and even going as far as to show Coran some of the flower petals he had coughed up that morning. Coran was horrified to say the least, wondering why a body would do this to it's host, how it could even know something like that, and most of all he hugged Lance tightly and expressed his concern and his grief to the thought of loosing the boy. Lance had always been his favorite out the group. Coran knew he was nothing like what Lance acted like, that he was just a scared homesick boy from Cuba who wanted to go home beyond anything else. He knew how to die in space was one of his worst fears, along with dying painfully, and to learn that Lance was actually dying painfully... It broke the man's heart.  
  
But... there was nothing anyone could do anymore aside from tell Keith, and when Coran suggested the idea, hoping to save Lance's life, Lance explained why he would never say he loved him, why he would never do that to Keith after being rejected by Shiro. Lance couldn't bare the heart break, nor could he handle the guilt or thought that Keith might say yes just to get back at Shiro. Seeing as there were no other options left, Coran sat hugging the boy for what seemed like forever and a day. Yet... it was still too short for Lance.  
  
Forever and a day just didn't seem long enough anymore.  
  
Lance lived though. He continued to try and to keep going for the sake of Coran, of Keith, of everyone. Blue helped a lot. Providing constant comfort even when Lance had nightmares or coughed so hard he could barely stand up much less talk. Coran also helped. On days when he just couldn't bare to act normal, the adviser would whisk him back to his room and help him get some much needed sleep, claiming Lance was helping him on the ship to the others so that they didn't come looking or bother him. Breakfast and meals became an affair all of their own now. Hot food seemed to undo Blue's effect on Lance slightly, so he always preferred his food cold now, much to Hunk's confusion. When he had tried to eat a hot soup he almost immediately started coughing after he was done with his sip hiding the blood that came up in his napkin from the others and claiming, "Oh it just went down the wrong pipe!". They were getting more cautious about him though, Shiro stopped having Lance spar with Kieth, and to fight Pidge instead. He stopped pushing Lance so hard, which was all fine until one day that Lance heard Keith and Shiro speaking.  
  
"I really think we should consider training Allura now. Lance has been getting weirder and worse by the day. He's barely doing any paladin duties anymore!" Keith spoke up to their leader. Shiro sighing as he responded.  
  
"We have to be delicate with these things Keith. Lance is probably just going through something... but I'll ask Allura if it makes you happy, okay?" He relented making Lance's heart drop to his feet.  
  
As if to add insult to injury Keith nodded and bumped his hip against Shiro's playfully. "Thanks. Come help me spar?" He asked with a smile on his face. A smile that was never given to Lance. Shiro rolling his eyes and smiling back as he shoved Keith.  
  
"You're on."  
  
Lance doesn't remember much of the rest of the day from there on. He just remembers making it back to his room before hacking up his worst fear. A full hibiscus flower. Blue roared from her spot down below in her hangar as Lance passed out.  
  
His mind drifted in and out from then on. Sometimes coming up to show what his body was doing, other times just remaining blank as his own mental health spiraled downwards. He remembers a lot of pain before coldness. Blue was trying to protect him, he could tell that much. But from what... He wasn't sure anymore.  
  
It took the team another month to notice. Pidge honestly felt like an idiot for not noticing soon. Lance was too pale, his skin was frozen to the touch, yet his lips were always a bright red. They should have noticed sooner. Should have done something sooner. But Lance.... Lance wasn't Lance anymore. He was gone. Stuck in a state of being half dead and half alive really. He barely commented on anything anymore, and on missions was almost deadly silent. Him and Blue seemed to work in perfect sync now, Blue almost seeming to control Lance instead of the other way around. It's because she was Pidge realized one day. She saw into Lance's cockpit and saw he was sitting in a frozen chamber basically. Wrapped up beautifully in icicles and a blanket of frost across his skin, Lance didn't move, didn't breathe, didn't do anything. They screamed in the middle of their practice. Blue protectively kept moving from them however, refusing to come down even when Black roared at the other lion.  
  
Blue ran away.  
  
No one knew where Blue had gone, trackers weren't showing where Lance's lion was anymore. They feared the worse, and what they got was a nightmare. It took Blue a week to come back and when she did, she refused to open her mouth until they had Black and Yellow both forcibly open her up. Lance...  
  
Lance was gone. 

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah.... I am a sad author. 
> 
> So basically I've been writing this thing because of my own feelings that aren't returned by someone (cause ey they're straight) and so I decided to make my baby boy Lance suffer a little bit because of it. I don't really know what to do after this... aside from finishing my other stories but if ya'll want potentially more of this then just tell me cause I have a few ideas as to what happened to Lance. 
> 
> But as always thanks for reading this pile of emotional trash feel free to contact me at wetsockonyourfoot.tumblr.com !


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